It’s hard to pick a place to start. I’ve been back from Nicaragua for a week now and I’m still working through it all and trying to process everything that happened. It’s hard to single out memories and experiences to share and it’s hard to find to communicate how meaningful they were to people I didn’t share them with. One friend asked how it was and I said it was great. His response was “just great?” I don’t know what that means. I’m still at the point where it’s hard to talk about it and I don’t know exactly what to say or how to express what I experienced. I wasn’t mad at him at all, I just didn’t know how else to talk about it.
Anyway, I guess the most profound thing I took away is how being to Jesus to someone else doesn’t have to be an over-spiritualized, hyper dramatic thing. It can be as practical as holding a kid’s hand while we watch a movie. Or digging a driveway and laying bricks in it. Water proofing houses and helping kids reach high enough to dunk a basketball are tangible ways of communicating that God loves them and they have incredible value and purpose in his Kingdom. I lived like that for 10 days and it drives me crazy how different life is now that I’m home. I has become a way more important word than it was on the trip. My focus is on me more often than not and I fail to see the same lovable, valuable people like I did in Nicaragua. That’s so frustrating because I’ve been there before and it feels like I didn’t learn anything. If I did I’d be living differently.
Don’t get the wrong idea. The trip was amazing and I did learn a ton. I’m still in that place of decompressing it all and making it a part of my life all the time. I’m a missionary here too and I want to live with the intentionality and determination to love like I did with strangers who become friends in Nicaragua. Hopefully writing it out helps. More to come soon.
Written on: July 12, 2011
At: Mel’s Diner
Listening to: Weird music at Mel’s
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